Out of the Closet?

It’s been some time since I posted here. I have been trying to decide which direction to go with this blog. I started out wanting to write about the things that tend to torque me off with diabetes in hopes that the reading audience would understand my complaints more so than the non-diabetes people that I have talked to. I have found a couple of problems with writing about complaints. The first one is that the more diabetes blogs that I read the less that I have to really be torqued off about. I have come to understand that those of us with diabetes are for the most part a very understanding group. We have to be, if not this diabetes thing would drive us all crazy. I know, short drive for some of us, me included. The second problem I have with just writing about my complaints is that I’m generally a happy person (don’t ask my kids to confirm that). I have a positive outlook, I smile a lot, I enjoy life and what ever it throws at me, so only writing about what gets me down just doesn’t seem to be a good fit for me.

I have given some thought to writing about my life in general but I’m just not real comfortable with this, at least not just yet. I have some concerns with how it could affect my job, my friends and especially my family. I only know one person that knows that I write a blog, one of my daughters. She thinks its ok, I don’t think she has actually read much of anything on this blog, not that there’s anything here that she would object to. I suppose that I could write about my life in general but I think that it would be very hard to not include things that would make me easy to identify. I think that last sentence is what scares me the most because if I can be identified then my family and work can be identified. I don’t think that I am completely ready for that yet. I know that with a little work on behalf of a few people that know me they could easily figure out that I write a blog. I suppose that being said, I should probably come to grips with the fact that at some point people will put me and this blog together and it will be known by family and a few co-workers.

So the question still stands will I or will I not write about my life in general. I think that I will, it may just take me a while to get comfortable with everyone being able to see some of my inner thoughts.

D-Blog Day 2008

I have only been doing this Diabetes O.C. thing for a few months now and I’m not sure that I really feel like a full fledged member yet. Check back with me after a few more months’ worth of posting and I’m sure that will change.

I would like to do what so many others have done today and thank everyone for their posts. The amount of information that I have consumed reading posts is almost incomprehensible. The amount of support that is out there is unbelievable. The amount of understanding and concern for each other is never ending.

In the end I wouldn’t be where I’m at today in the care of my diabetes without the help of this community.

Trying Something New

This one looked interesting so I thought I would give it a go.

A new meme to give me something to post… feel free to repost as desired:
1. Where is your cell phone? Beside me on the table

2. Your significant other? In bed asleep

3. Your Hair? Brown

4. Your Skin? Still kind of tan 5. Your mother? Crazy

6. Your favorite thing? My Kids

7. Your dream last night? Work

8. Your favorite drink? DrPepper

9. Your dream/goal? Retire at 55 years old

10. The room you’re in? Living

11. Your ex? Don’t care

12. Your fear? Something happening to my kids.

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Where I am right now, only with more money

14. Where were you last night? Home

15. What you’re not? Skinny

16. Muffins? Banana Nut

17. One of your wish list items? To be debt free

18. Where you grew up? Geuda Springs

19. The last thing you did? Posted my daily picture on Flickr

20. What are you wearing? Shorts

21. Your TV? Sanyo

22. Your pets? Dog and cats

23.Your computer? Hp

24. Your life? Good

25. Your mood? OK

26. Missing someone? My dad

27. Your car? Chrysler

28. Something you’re not wearing? Socks

29. Favorite Store? Best Buy

30. Your summer? Fun

31. Like someone? My wife

32. Your favorite color? Red

33. When is the last time you laughed? At work today

34. Last time you cried? At my nephew’s funeral

35. Who will respond to this? Danged if I know

36. Who’s Answers are you anxious to see? Everyone’s

Decisions Decisions

I’ve been away for a while, life getting in the way. I’m sure you know how it is, work, sports, kids and just life in general. Anyway on to my subject.

About a week ago I had to call Medtronic to order some more sensors for my CGMS. All went well with placing the order and they told me that they would turn it in to my insurance and I should have my order in about 2 weeks. I had to giggle a little to myself when they said that they were going to turn it in to my insurance. I’m type 2 and not exactly the ideal candidate for a cgms. My blood sugars are generally in the normal range, decent control and meds work well for me. I have never been to a hospital for a severe low or high condition. I do have hypoglycemic unawareness but that is not what the insurance company is looking for to decide if I qualify for sensors. When I first got the cgms earlier this year I knew that my insurance wouldn’t likely pay for the sensors but we sent it to them anyhow. I was right that they wouldn’t cover them. The letter I received said that they were not medically necessary.

I know that I could probably manage this disease with out the cgms but I really believe that if there is a tool out there that makes control even just a little bit easier then I’m all for it. Hence my need (or want?) for a cgms.

Now we have worked our way up to yesterday when I received the letter from my insurance company that said that they deemed the sensors to not be medically necessary for me. This time they included a document explaining how I could appeal this decision if I wished. The letter also spelled out what they would pay for if I won the appeal.

Here is where the decision part comes. The letter explains that if I appeal their decision and win they will pay for two separate seven day testing periods in one year. Putting the math to that and it comes out to about $210.00 worth of sensors.

Is it worth it to jump through all the hoops involved in the appeal process to end up with an extra $210.00 a year? Unfortunately for me the math just doesn’t work out. I think I’ll spend the time I would have fighting for coverage hanging out with my kids, in the end it’s probably a better investment of my time than arguing with my insurance company over a couple of hundred bucks.

My Self Control is Showing

As of my last doctors appointment my doctor lowered the amount of byetta that I was taking from 10mcg to 5mcg. My doctor was concerned with my blood sugars going into the 50’s on a regular basis. Now here I am a little over a month later and I have to admit that the doctor was right, I’ve only had a couple of episodes of 50’s in the last month.

I know it is better for me to keep my blood sugars above the low range. It’s important for my long range health to keep the highs and lows at bay as much as possible.

All of that being said I am still not real pleased with the switch in my medication. Outside of the obvious benefit of byetta helping with keeping my blood sugars in check it is also great at keeping my hunger in check. Well at least it was great at keeping my hunger in check. Now that I am on the lower dose I seem to be starving all the time. Before the switch I could take or leave food, I was not ever very hungry. Now with being hungry all the time my self control is showing. I’ve gained ten pounds in the last month. I guess with the medication change I am now going to have to learn how to control my hunger with something other than medication. This is going to be quite the challenge for me. Self control with food is definitely something that I’m not good at.

I know change is inevitable, but man was I ever happy with where I was with my medications and weight loss efforts. I had lost over 60lbs in the last year. Now I’m back to moving the other direction and having to learn self control with food. #*^~, bad word, very bad word, but that is exactly how I feel right now. Life would be so much easier if once you got things mostly figured out you could just keep them the same.

The Spinning Has Stopped

Back when I was first diagnosed as type 2 diabetic the first thing that I can remember doing diabetes wise is learning. I spent countless hours going from web site to web site reading and researching everything that I could find that was diabetes related. For the first few months after diagnosis I felt like my life was spinning, trying to absorb everything that I could about this life long battle that I was just put in charge of.

Now here I am a year and a half later and I think that the spinning has finally stopped. I no longer spend every free moment that I have trying to find more information about this disease. I assume that the road that I have taken to get where I’m at today has been traveled by many people before me, and I also assume that there will be at least a few more behind me on the same path. I’m also guessing that this is a pretty normal path that everyone takes.

Now that I have reached this point in my battle, I’m wondering what the next phase that I will go through is.

“The wait is over” almost

I finally got my test results from my last 3 month A1c check. Whenever I have this lab work done my A1c gets checked along with all the usual checks that go along with the A1c plus my cholesterol. My cholesterol problems date back further than my diagnosis with diabetes, my Dr had been harping, er uh advising me for quite some time that I needed to work on getting my cholesterol numbers in the ranges that they should be. When I was diagnosed with diabetes my Dr also started me on meds to get my cholesterol in control. When I started taking meds for my cholesterol my triglycerides were over 3000, here it is a little over a year later and they are now down to 587, still to high but much lower than were I started. My new Dr doesn’t think that they are coming down fast enough so he has added another med for me to take to help lower them quicker.

I suppose at this point you might be thinking the same thing that I was at the time of the call from my Dr. Ok, I need to lower my triglycerides and all of my other tests came back mostly normal, so what about my A1c?

Evidently 587 on triglycerides is the magic number that will not allow your blood sugars to be checked, or at least the Dr said that they could not check my A1c because my triglyceride numbers were to high. Makes me wonder how they found out that my A1c was at 7.8 with my triglycerides being over 3000?

As the title to this post says, the wait is almost over, three more months and I will know my A1c, that is of course if my triglycerides are at anything except that magic 587.

The Wait

I had my 3 month appointment with my doctor to get my A1c checked on Monday. Now comes the wait. I know the wait is something every diabetic knows about. It’s that time from when you get your blood drawn for your A1c test until you get that phone call from the doctor with the results.

I guess I should let you know I’m not a very patient person when it comes to my health, I want my results and I want them now. I don’t want to wait three, four or more days. I know at this point I should be used to waiting for the results. This is my sixth A1c check since I was diagnosed with diabetes. I know a lot you that read this are thinking man, sixth check, boy he better get used to the wait. Sorry folks it’s just not going to happen.

The not knowing is what gets to me. I know I have pretty good control, I know I have been doing mostly the right thing at least “most” of the time. I use a CGMS, I test with my meter, I take my meds and yet I am apprehensive at what this test is going to tell me. I know that with all of the things I am doing right that my A1c should be no higher than 5.5. I will be happy with it as long as it is below 5.5. It will be lower than 5.5 and still the emotions of waiting seem to almost consume me.

I have read the stories of people that have a tough time controlling their diabetes and quite frankly the thought of complications is what drives me to try and control my diabetes. The stories of complications also add to my anxiety while I wait on the results. At times while waiting for my results my mind will tend to wander to the point that it starts thinking about what would or could happen if I had some or even all of the complications that I have read about. When my mind takes me there it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and just adds to my impatience with the wait.

In the end I guess over time I will become more accepting of the wait and maybe even a little less hair will be standing up on the back of my neck. But for now the hair is standing at full attention.

Changing Doctors

Tomorrow I go to the Dr for my 3 month A1c. Nothing out of the ordinary about that, the un-ordinary part is that I am going to see a new Dr.

This whole process of changing Dr’s started at my last A1c check. I had been going to my last Dr for quite a few years and he had always done a fine job as far as I was concerned. My issues with him didn’t begin until after I was diagnosed with diabetes. After my diagnosis I started to notice that when I asked him questions about diabetes he would give me what I felt was a “brush off” type answer. I have real concerns about complications from diabetes, namely I don’t want any, or at least want to limit any that I may get. When I asked him about my legs going numb from the knees down his answer was, you know you are getting older and things won’t always be like they were when you were younger. When I asked him about getting light headed after I bend over his answer was that he has the same problem and a comment about it being another one of those age things. Those “age” answers might set a little better with me if I were maybe 60+ years old but I’m only 40. Yea I know only 40 is already about half a lifetime but to me it’s just not that old, any how back to the subject at hand. The straws, yes straws as in multiple, that broke the camels back with me and my last doctor were the last two times I went to see him and have my lab work done he forgot to tell them to do the A1c test. For me that was the deal breaker, wait a week to get the results and call in only to be told that the doctor didn't order that test. Then I get the opportunity to take a little more time off of work to go have another blood test to get the A1c done. Long story short I decided it was time for a new doctor.

I have a lot of faith in one of the nurses that works at my doctors’ office so I asked her if she could recommend a doctor in this same complex that would give my diabetes the attention that I feel it deserves. She gave me a handful of doctors to look at. I called all of these doctors and asked if I could get an appointment to “interview” them to be my doctor. Two of them said I could make an appointment and talk to them, all but one of the rest of them couldn't understand why I would want to talk to them before I put my health in their hands, the last one said that they don’t do this type of appointment. I went in and talked to the two of them that were willing to meet with me, the first one treated me very similar to my original doctor, kick that one out of the running. The last one I talked to was willing to have me come in when he was done with appointments for the day and spent a good deal of time answering my questions about his style of treatment of diabetes.

So tomorrow morning I get to see my new Dr, list of questions in hand and a hopeful attitude that my diabetes will get the attention that I feel it deserves.

The other .01%

I guess I’m going to start this out with a disclaimer. The only connection to diabetes in the following post is that it is about me, a person with diabetes. I’m not sure if you would call this one a rant or just mourning out loud, I guess anyone that reads this can make that decision for themselves.

I’m a volunteer firefighter and I would have to say that I truly enjoy firefighting 99.99% of the time. Last night was the other .01% of the time.

The night was going like most any other Saturday night until my radio went off and we got a call for an accident. I responded like I have so many other times. I was on the third truck to arrive on the scene, the first two trucks and ambulances had already got there and where treating patients. The medics requested an air ambulance so I knew that someone had been injured pretty badly. The first thing that I did when I got to the scene was start setting up a landing zone for the air ambulance, once that was done I went to see if anyone needed help with anything else. I was in the process of helping a couple of the medics get a stretcher out of the back of one of the ambulances when I first noticed that I knew a few of the bystanders at this scene. I didn’t think too much about knowing some of the people standing around, I live in a small community and it’s not unusual to know some of the people that we respond to help. I looked over towards the other ambulance that was there and noticed the medics working on the other injured person in the back of their unit. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked one of the medics who the other injured person was. The medic told me the name of the person; it was my wife’s nephew. We got word a few hours later that he didn’t make it.

This is where that .01% that I mentioned earlier comes in. Being that I live in a fairly small rural community the odds are pretty good that when the fire pager goes off we are going to at least know of some of the people that we are going to help. Most of the time knowing of the people is not a problem, but when it is someone that you know and have watched grow up the call takes on a whole different feel. This next part is going to sound a little jaded but it is just how I feel and deal with a fatal accident like this one. When you just know “of” someone it is easier to distance yourself from the emotional side of what you are there to do, but when you know the person it becomes very difficult to get away from the emotions. This type of call becomes very personal. You start to think about the family of the injured person, not just the names but also the faces. You feel the pain, you feel the loss and it all becomes so very real.

As a firefighter I tend to try and put my last call behind me so that I am ready to make the next call. This call is going to take a while to get behind me.

Goodbye Jarod, we’ll miss you buddy.

I want more

I want more time, so I can work on all of my diabetes related needs. Medication, exercise, meals, testing, insurance issues, these are all items that need a considerable amount of my time to take care of. They are also things that I know I don’t give myself the time to take care of the way that they should be taken care of. These items occasionally do float to the top of my “to do list” but they rarely stay there. I know from the results of my last A1c (4.9) that I am doing mostly ok with all of these diabetes related time issues, but mostly ok is not really ok with me.

I love my job and probably spend more time doing it than I should. I love being a volunteer firefighter and probably spend more time doing it than I should. I love my family and don’t spend near enough time doing that than I should. I don’t love diabetes and don’t spend near enough time doing that than I should. I look at all four of these things, family, diabetes, work and firefighting and I wonder which areas I can take time from and give to the areas that I should be spending more time on.

I know from the outside it looks like the choice is easy, less work, less firefighting. After saying that reality kicks in and tells me the reason I have the position and pay that I have at work is because of the hours I put into it. The reason I have the position that I have at the fire department is because of the hours that I put into it. I know, I know, positions and promotions don’t mean squat if you don’t have family and health.

I really liked where I was at in my life before diabetes came along. The balance of my time with family, firefighting and work seemed pretty good before diabetes came along. But alas diabetes did come along, gobbling up any extra time that I had and beating me over the head wanting more of my precious time.

In the end I know what I have to do, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I want more time!

Saving money the insurance company way

Its time to refill my meds, I usually use mail order to get the most for my money on prescriptions. This time around I am switching back to my local pharmacy to get the most for my money.

I am fortunate enough to have two insurance companies, the problem with that is they each have their own preferred mail order suppliers. Neither insurance company is willing to work with the other ones billing codes. I have spent a great deal of time on the phone with both of my insurances trying to come up with something that will allow me to keep getting my medications through mail order but neither one is willing to budge on how they do things. I know that getting my medications through mail order saves the insurance companies and myself money, but since my secondary insurance won’t work with my primary insurances billing codes that means I don’t get reimbursed for what I have paid out of my own pocket.

The whole point of having two insurance companies was to save money. Late last year when my then current primary insurance changed its prescription plan it was going to cost me a lot more money to get all of my medications. At about the same time my company had open enrolment on its health insurance program. I checked and found that its prescription plan would save me more money. After figuring how much it would save me and then subtracting the cost of adding another insurance I found that I would come out a few hundred dollars ahead at the end of the year. I know that sounds completely out in left field. I worked the math on it several times and always got the same answer. Who would have thought it would be cheaper two pay two insurance premiums.

I guess that at this point I have found the flaw in my two insurance companies to save money plan, getting the secondary insurance to pay for anything. I knew that their had to be a way to make it work. After spending a considerable amount of time pouring over both of my insurance companies’ prescription plans I finally found a way to make it work. All I have to do is quit trying to save money by using mail order to get my medications filled. I found that if I use my local pharmacy they will file both insurances for me, no out of pocket co-pays, no fun forms to fill out, no hours spent on the phone trying to get them to pay. The only glitch with using my local pharmacy is that I will now have to remember to get my refills each month instead of every three months.

Who would have thought to save money a person would have to pay for two health insurance plans and get their medications filled the most expensive way that you can?

Why should I hide?

I was testing my blood sugar at a basketball tournament this weekend and it got me to thinking about where I test and who I test in front of.

I’ll start with where I do not hide. When I’m at home I will do any of my diabetes related items, test, inject, insert sensors etc. Most of my close family knows about my diabetes and for that matter there are at least 7 people that I would consider my close family that have diabetes. I never think twice about doing diabetes stuff in front of all of them.

The next place to talk about is when I am out in public around strangers, once again this is a place that I really don’t care who sees me do the diabetic stuff. In fact I kind of enjoy testing amongst strangers. I like to watch peoples reactions, see the look on there face, trying to figure out just what the heck I am doing.

The last place to talk about is at work. For me work falls into two categories, one that would be closely related to the family category and one that falls out in left field. While I am at my main office I will do all of the diabetes things in front of all of my day to day coworkers. I am pretty comfortable with all of my coworkers, which when I think about that it seems odd. At my main office there are around 60 employees. When I think about that number of people and the fact that I don’t really see any of them outside of work it makes me wonder how I have become so comfortable around them that I don’t hide my diabetes. I guess that last sentence says something about the atmosphere that I work in.

Now for the left field category. This would be my business contacts. I have about two to three suppliers that come into my office each week and I go on about six business related trips a year. I’m not sure why, but I’m just not comfortable testing in front of these people. I would like to think of these people as just… well people. For some reason I try not to do any of my diabetes related stuff in front of this group of people. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I don’t want to talk about it with them or maybe subconsciously I think they will see diabetes as a sign of weakness. A lot of my suppliers in the industry that I work in are still way behind the times, some more so than others. Computers are very new to most of my suppliers and the industry overall is still in the beginning of understanding technology. With that being said I think, or maybe I just feel like diabetes would be a subject that is very misunderstood in this industry.

I think from here forward I will try to get more comfortable with doing my diabetes stuff in front of whoever is in front of me. Being self conscious about diabetes could cost me more than a business relationship of two.

The Joy of Insurance Paperwork

Let me start this by saying that I know I am very fortunate to have two insurance providers, the one from my work being my primary insurance and the one from my wife’s work as a secondary provider. The downside of having two insurance companies is that all the paperwork now has to be done twice and getting them to play nice with each other is no easy task.

Late last year I was only on my wife’s insurance, at her renewal time the insurance company informed us of changes to their plan that was going to cost us a lot more money for all of my supplies and prescriptions. At the same time my company’s insurance had their annual open enrolment period. After a lot of research I found that I could join my company’s insurance plan and after paying that premium I would still be money ahead at the end of the year. I know that sounds like a pretty easy deal but that is where this adventure really begins.

The first thing that I had to do was fill out all the obligatory paperwork. I then had to contact my doctor and get all new prescriptions to my new insurance company’s mail order prescription provider. After getting these prescriptions from my doctor and checking them I found that he had a couple of them wrong. Another call to the doctor got that straightened out and I sent them off to my new provider. The next step was to contact my wife’s insurance company and inform them that I now have a new primary insurance provider. I then had to contact my former mail order prescription company and inform them that I have a new primary insurance provider.

Shortly after all the notifying is done I receive a letter from my former mail order prescription company telling me it was time to refill my prescriptions. I call them again and tell them of the change in insurances. Shortly after that they send me a form to fill out to let them know that I now have a different insurance company. The tone of the form led me to think that they thought I was just being a bad person for not filling my medications like they know I should. Oh well, fill out the paperwork and off it goes to them.

About this same time I decided that I would like to get a CGMS to supplement all my other diabetic toys. I e-mailed my diabetes nurse and she sent me some paperwork to fill out and give to my doctor. I filled it out and sent it to them. My doctor does not understand why I want to use a CGMS but I will have to get into that in another post. In the mean time my diabetes nurse gets everything taken care of and I order the CGMS after of course some more paperwork. To get the supplies for my CGMS my diabetes nurse sends all of my prescriptions to yet another mail order supply company. Good news on this company, after some more paperwork they will file both of my insurances for me and I end up with no out of pocket on all of my CGMS supplies except the sensors. I’ll probably write a little more about the sensor situation in the same post that I write about my doctor’s feelings on my having a CGMS.

I received all of my medication prescriptions from my new mail order company and then filled out the paperwork to have my secondary insurance reimburse me for what I paid my primary insurance for the prescriptions. I then received a letter from my secondary insurance stating that my primary insurance did not have the right codes on the receipt for them to reimburse me for what I had paid. I fill out more paperwork requesting the correct billing codes from my primary insurance company. I get their response to my request and fill out more paperwork and send it to my secondary insurance company again. I’m still waiting on their response to this last round of paper work.

All of the above paperwork leads me to my current and most frustrating round of paperwork. I have just received a letter from my current insurance company requesting information on all of my diabetic related treatment and supplies. The part that I have the hardest time understanding is, they are already paying for all of this stuff. I would think that since they are the company paying for these items they would already have all of this information. I would like to have about 10 minuets in their computer system so I could print off all of my information that they have on me so I could then hand it to them so they know everything about my diabetes treatment and supplies. But alas, I fill out more paperwork and off it goes to my insurance company.

Can there be anything better than the pure joy of filling out insurance company paperwork?

Eat more so I can exercise?

I have never been good at the exercising part of being diabetic. For the first year after my diagnosis I did really well, I ate right, lost weight and had good control of my blood sugars. Now here I am going on year two with diabetes and admittedly I am not doing as well, or at least that’s the way that I feel. I know that I haven’t been eating as well as I should and the weight loss seems to have hit a plateau for the last few months. I know at this point it looks like I am going to have to start doing some sort of exercise to loose the last of the weight that I need to.

Finding where to put exercise in my schedule is my next dilemma. I have a very erratic schedule, my day typically starts at 5:30 in the morning getting myself ready for work and the kids ready for school and then out the door around 6:00am. I am then usually back home around 6:30 in the evening. I can’t see myself getting up any earlier; I am definitely not a morning person. In the evenings I really like my time to just set and relax so I guess that this will be the best time for me to work in some exercise.

I am not much for the normal exercises, so I think my best bet to getting exercise is working outside. Mowing, hauling dirt to fill those holes in the driveway, putting some more backfill around the house and the shed, fixing fence etc....

This is by no means a promise to anyone that reads this or even to myself that I am going to do this all of the time. I would like to say that I will but I know that it will not happen on a regular basis. But the way that I look at it, if I can at least get out and do some of these things on an irregular basis it will be a lot more than I am doing now.

Exercise is good for loosing weight and lowering your blood sugars. Here is my problem with the last half of that statement, my last A1C test last month was 4.9. So if I exercise to loose weight and it lowers my blood sugars do I need to eat more so I don’t get to low?
Man is diabetes ever fun to figure out!

Sedentary Lifestle

Today started out like any other work day. Go to work, do normal work stuff until my mom called me at about 9am. My 81 year old type 1 mom called and asked if I could go up to the hospital to be with my sister. My sister who is type 2 had back surgery on Monday and they were getting ready to send her to a rehab hospital. My mom had been staying at my brothers’ house which is a lot closer to the hospital than were she and I live. My brother had picked her up from the hospital to take her home to get some more clothes and medicines. My mom wanted someone to be with my sister when they move her because she is on a lot of pain killers and is not thinking clearly at the moment.

I work at a great company that is very understanding, I stick my head in my bosses office and tell him I will be taking off the rest of the day and take off for the hospital. When I got to my sisters room she was setting up in a chair watching TV. We talked for a while and then her lunch came so I went downstairs and grabbed me a bite to eat. After lunch the nurses came in and got her ready to go to the rehab hospital. I gathered up all of her stuff and took off to the rehab hospital.

When I got there they were just taking her up to her room. I took her stuff up to her, told her I would be back up tomorrow with the kids and I got the heck out of there. The reason that I left in such a hurry was that I knew what was about to happen, therapy was going to start immediately.

I suppose that you might need a little information why I wanted to leave before therapy started. My mom was diagnosed type1 at the young age of 79; my sister was diagnosed type 2 a few months after my mom’s diagnosis (about a year after that I was diagnosed type 2). My mom and sister live together and kind of take care of each other. Shortly after their diagnosis’s I noticed that they were both putting on more weight, not a subject that I was or am willing to discuss with them. At the same time they both started living a very sedentary lifestyle. I did ask if the doctor said anything to them about the importance of staying active and getting any exercise that they can, they said that their doctors did tell them that but they just don’t have the strength to do it. I have been around them enough to know that it would not matter what I said or how much information I could show them on the benefits of staying active they had made up their minds that since they have diabetes they just don’t have the strength.

Now here we are a couple of sedentary years later and they both can’t seem to walk more than 20 or 30 yards without taking a break.

I know that while my sister is in the rehabilitation hospital she will not have a choice but to get up and move, that is what this hospital is all about. All I can say is that I hope these are very patient people because I know she will fight them tooth and nail to keep her sedentary lifestyle. I know these next couple of weeks will be pretty tough on her but in a way I’m glad that it is happening, at least now she will be forced to be more active, if she can keep it up when she gets home that can only be a good thing. I know I will do my part to make sure that she stays active.

I love my mom and sister to death but I do get pretty frustrated with what they are blaming diabetes for doing to them. I so want to tell them that it takes two to tango but like a alluded to earlier, listening to reasoning is not their strong point.

Complication Frustrations

The longer that I have diabetes the more thought that I have to give to complications. Every ache, every pain, the first thing that pops into my head is, is this diabetes related?

I seem to get a lot of headaches anymore; they seem to coincide with my blood sugars being on the climb from the mid 90’s on up. For the most part my numbers hang out in the high 70’s to low 80’s until I eat, then they start to rise and of course then comes the headache. I have yet to find any information for getting a headache in the low 100’s but I assume it is possible, I have read a lot about people that get headaches in the 200 range and up. Maybe my tolerance for high blood sugars is just really low. Or maybe it’s just stress, who knows.

Healing slowly, now here is a complication that I can more than likely contribute to diabetes. I like to work a lot with my hands and I inevitably end up with cuts and scrapes that seem to take forever to heal. I never realized how long my hands took to heal; I always thought that I was just re-injuring them all the time so they never really got a chance to heal. Now I know different. I first figured it out about a year ago when I burnt the side of my leg just above my ankle. It took that burn about three months to heal. Once I started putting the length of time it took to heal my leg with the length of time it took my hands to heal I then realized what was going on. I know, I know, a little slow on the pick up but I eventually figure things out.

The fact that I have at least one complication that I can attribute to diabetes (healing slowly) is probably the reason that the hair on the back of my neck stands up every time I feel something that isn’t right with my body. I guess that as time goes by I will get used to these complications always hanging around in the background, but for now it’s just frustrating.

Totally Consumed

At times it seems my life has been consumed by diabetes. I have spent countless hours researching causes, symptoms, complications and anything else that goes along with this disease. I never seem to tire reading all that I can find about diabetes. When I stop and think about it I could probably add OCD (about diabetes information) to the list of things that are wrong with me. I have joined numerous discussion boards on diabetes, I have several member pages on different diabetes forums and I subscribe to a laundry list of diabetes related blogs.

I think reading the blogs is one of the things that I enjoy most about this disease. I know it sounds odd having enjoy and disease in the same sentence but it’s true. It seems that no matter how bad the situation, or in this case the diagnosis I can find some things about it that will at least make me smile. Reading diabetes blogs does make me smile and I do enjoy a good smile. I have also found a lot of comfort in finding other people out there with diabetes that have the same questions and fears about the future that I have.

I understand that if I keep my blood sugars in control that I may not have to suffer any of the complications that so many other people have to deal with. The problem that I have with that is the phrase “may not”. That phrase just scares the crap out of me. I do dearly want to be around to watch my kids grow up. I can easily cope with how the weather changes from the forecast and I can deal with my daily plans changing on a moments notice. I just have an extremely hard time dealing with the fact that no matter how hard I work at controlling this disease it “may not” keep me from going blind, loosing a foot or some other nasty complication that comes along with diabetes.

I think that since diabetes now plays such a major role in my life that this new diversion of devouring all of the diabetes related information that I can get my hands on is just a new part of my life.

My life is truly consumed by diabetes and the search for more diabetes related information.

Expensive forgetfulnes

When I got home from work tonight it was time to remove the transmitter on my cgms and charge the battery. I just passed day 12 on this sensor and needed to remove the transmitter and charge it, I can then plug the transmitter back into the sensor and trick the cgms into thinking that I have installed a new sensor. It is a necessity for me to get the most life out of my sensor that I can, they cost $35.00 each. It is recommended to change these sensors every three days, since I pay for them out of my own pocket I keep them in for as long as they work correctly.

Anyhow enough of the back ground information and back to my main subject.

I removed my transmitter and plugged it into the charger. I stuck a band-aid on the sensor to hold it in place, this helps keep the sensor in place until I plug the transmitter back into it and cover it with a big piece of IV 3000. I was then setting there thinking I should go outside and feed the cats. I went outside and found that the kids had already fed the cats and I saw the riding mowers setting there and thought I should sharpen the blades and get them ready to mow this weekend. So off I went, I removed all of the blades and sharpened them, cleaned the decks and greased everything that needed greased. When I was done with the mowers I thought, if I were to do the weed eating now, then when I get home tomorrow I can start mowing right away. Since to mow everything that I mow takes about 8hrs it seemed like a good idea to get started now. I finished the weed eating and went into the house to take a shower, when I took my shirt off I realized my sensor was setting there in the wide open, the band-aid had fallen off and the sensor area was covered with dirt, not good, not good at all. I went about cleaning up the sensor area as good as I could without moving the sensor. I then plugged the transmitter back in and covered it with the IV.

Long story short, I may have just toasted another sensor by forgetting about it while I went about the daily chores of life.

Very expensive forgetfulness indeed.

Diabetic Toys

When I arrived home from work tonight there was another package waiting on me. This one contained the Medtronic USB care link device. I set it up and downloaded the information from my cgms. After looking over my results I got to thinking about the tools or "toys" that I use to help me control this crazy disease. Here's my list of Toys so far.

• One Touch Ultra Smart, the only meter that i actually paid for
• One Touch Ultra
• One Touch Mini, Silver
• One Touch Mini, Pink, had to have this, pink is close to red, my favorite color
• 2 One Touch Ultra-Links
• 2 One Touch meter cables
• One Touch Diabetes Software
• Medtronic Continuous Glucose Monitor
• Medtronic Download Cable
• Medtronic Care-Link USB Device

I know it sounds odd to be somewhat excited about having this many devices to help me control this disease but in a strange way I am. I suppose that this means I have come to grips with this diagnosis of diabetes. I obviously would much rather go on living life as I did before diabetes, but unfortunately that is not possible. I guess as in all things you have to look at the bright side of being diagnosed with diabetes. I am probably healthier now than I have been in about 20yrs, I've lost most of the weight that I should have done years ago and there is no doubt that my eating habits are healthier now than they ever have been.

I guess to sum this all up diabetes has made me a healthier person, outside of having diabetes of course.

Late?

Today started out like most Mondays. I woke up late, well not exactly late, but later than I like to wake up. I generally get up at about 5:30am so I can get to work around 7. I don't have to be to work until 8:00am but I like to get there early, I enjoy the people that I work with and my job. Anyhow I didn't wake up until 6:30 this morning which means that I won't get to work until about 7:30. Not actually late but late to me. I hate it when I do this to myself, it seems to throw my whole day off.

I eat breakfast when I get to work and this morning was no exception, open my fridge and grab the usual granola bar. I then got started on my usual Monday routine, reading reports and checking what was accomplished last week. I found a problem on one of the jobs that we are doing and go to investigate. After a couple of hours going over the information I found that one of our suppliers had made a mistake that had the potential to cost us a few thousand dollars. I contact that supplier and start discussing the issue with them and my cgms starts alarming, I check it and it says "predicted low". I confirm that reading with my glucose meter and it is right on. I pretty much eat the same thing every morning so this low came from left field. I grab a snack and finish my phone call. I went to lunch a while later and grabbed the usual two soft taco's no cheese and head back to work and ate my lunch. A little over two hours later I get the "predicted low" again. I eat one of three things for lunch every day, and I am usually in the 80's most of the afternoon, but today just seems to be the exception to the rule day. My readings hung around 65 the rest of the afternoon. I get ready to leave work and check the cgms, 64, I think to myself, is it OK to drive? I haven't had any problems driving with readings in the 60's before so I head home. I get home and take a couple of my daughters to their ball practice. After practice I finally get a chance to have some supper, I eat and a couple of hours later I'm still in the low 60's. So I happily fix that with a bowl of low fat Butter Pecan ice cream. That fixed those readings, I'm now at 92.

When I start my day out late, self imposed or otherwise, it seems to set the tone for everything being just a little off course.

First Post

I suppose to start this off you should know a little about me.



I am a 40yr old male living in Kansas. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a little over a year ago. I have 5 kids, 1 dog, numerous farm cats and a great wife.



I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while now. Since my diagnosis with diabetes I have spent a lot of time on the web trying to understand diabetes and how other people have dealt with their diagnosis. Their have been a few people that I think really sparked my interest in a project like this, Keri, Thirties, Jennifer, Scott, Amylia and to many others to list here.

I can't promise anything at this point but I hope to keep this updated often, as far as subject matter I'm sure I will be all over the board but with one constant, diabetes. I have found that after you are diagnosed with diabetes it tends to permeate all that you do in your life from that day forward. It may not show on the surface but it is always there.