The Wait

I had my 3 month appointment with my doctor to get my A1c checked on Monday. Now comes the wait. I know the wait is something every diabetic knows about. It’s that time from when you get your blood drawn for your A1c test until you get that phone call from the doctor with the results.

I guess I should let you know I’m not a very patient person when it comes to my health, I want my results and I want them now. I don’t want to wait three, four or more days. I know at this point I should be used to waiting for the results. This is my sixth A1c check since I was diagnosed with diabetes. I know a lot you that read this are thinking man, sixth check, boy he better get used to the wait. Sorry folks it’s just not going to happen.

The not knowing is what gets to me. I know I have pretty good control, I know I have been doing mostly the right thing at least “most” of the time. I use a CGMS, I test with my meter, I take my meds and yet I am apprehensive at what this test is going to tell me. I know that with all of the things I am doing right that my A1c should be no higher than 5.5. I will be happy with it as long as it is below 5.5. It will be lower than 5.5 and still the emotions of waiting seem to almost consume me.

I have read the stories of people that have a tough time controlling their diabetes and quite frankly the thought of complications is what drives me to try and control my diabetes. The stories of complications also add to my anxiety while I wait on the results. At times while waiting for my results my mind will tend to wander to the point that it starts thinking about what would or could happen if I had some or even all of the complications that I have read about. When my mind takes me there it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and just adds to my impatience with the wait.

In the end I guess over time I will become more accepting of the wait and maybe even a little less hair will be standing up on the back of my neck. But for now the hair is standing at full attention.